“Just wait a little longer,” I hear her say. She is not telling it to me, yet I wonder if the receiver of that message will also struggle to get pregnant. Also is the keyword. Will she regret, as I sometimes do, not trying sooner rather than later? Trying is the other keyword.
The first month was the best month ever, there is just something about having intercourse with your partner with the purpose of having a baby. It feels different, it feels full of hope. For days we smiled at each other like two mischievous kids; we joked about how annoying I would be as a pregnant woman. I wish I could know how it feels to be pregnant, I promise to behave if given the chance.
It has been months now since we started trying for a baby. The range of emotions we have come to experience thanks to this situation is overwhelming. From hopefulness to helplessness, and the alienating feeling of not being able to discuss this with anyone. It makes me wonder if she is actually struggling to get pregnant but would not dare to admit it.
Trying to conceive has changed my perspective. I became more conscious. Now, I know better than to ask silly questions that may hurt somebody’s feelings. And in the same way that I would not pressure someone to have children, I would not tell them to just wait a little longer. Because maybe if I had not waited that little longer, I would not have to wait this much.
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